3 weeks, 3 days

Okay, This week has been okay but today I am starting to feel it.
My diet changed again and as of last Monday my diet is basically just chicken with some fats.
Meal 1-chicken
meal 2-chicken
meal 3-chicken and avocado
meal 4-chicken
meal 5-roo and avocado
meal 6-almonds and 1/2 shake.

Hhmmm.
Also, 2 hours cardio and 1 weight training session per day.

All things considering, I am doing alright.
Work is busy and I have just secured a shop to move into hopefully over the next 2 months.
So my 'spare' time (ha ha ha) is taken up with council proposal's, builder, plumber, electrician, accounting, bank meetings, business planning etc.
I have to say that I am learning a lot!
I found out last night that there are about 5 of us competing in the same category.
I hope I am not the worst. lol
I am soo confident.
My weight this morning was 60.0kg. Still carrying it mainly around my butt and thighs and a little in the lower stomach.
I am glad that I have another 2 weeks after the vics to get in better shape for the nationals.
Its been interesting seeing the changes and going through the dieting process again.
Its nice to fit into all my clothes again too. I just hope they still fit me after the comp. I will just try to do enough cardio and try not to eat ridiculous amounts.
Easier said than done...
Oh well, better go, have one client booked in and then a massage, then more cardio. yay

4 weeks, 2 days

Hi again. I have to say that I have felt not too bad this week. Sunday was a bad day but I am doing alright esp today.
I got up this morning to do another hour of cardio and had good energy. I don't know how and I dont know why but I am glad.
I still could not exert myself too much but I am coping.
Blew up at mum on Thursday after she handed me a recipe.... I swear I feel like she is trying to sabotage by efforts at staying as sane as possible.
Lost it at the idiotic real estate guy who left us all standing in the cold and wind waiting for him to turn up and show us through the shop I am interested in leasing.
After I rang him and, surprise surprise, he didnt answer, left a message and then rang the real estate to find that he hadnt even left the office.
His excuse.. 'I was on the phone for 45 minutes'.
Well, a quick message to myself to let me know would have been curteous. It is obvious that I dont mean shit and am not worth even that, according to him.
I just hate how unprofessional some people are and wonder how they are still employed and in business. His whole manner is atrocious.
Anyway, I certainly let him know that in very polite curteous words. lol
Body fat is still dropping. Weighing in this morning at 60.6kg.
I am getting excited but also really trying to enjoy the whole process.
Poor gonz has been rather neglected as I consider only myself and my needs. I really cant cope with considering more than that at the moment.
He's hanging in there. We are looking forward to the freedom of having meals together again and having a choice although I am not craving lots of crappy food I just will enjoy eating basically the way I was for most of the diet. Oats, egg whites, mountain bread. They are the things i am missing. Oh, and a coffee with milk in it...

5 Weeks!!

Okay, it's hard now. Struggling with feeling angry and irritable at the moment. People trying to help but it just makes me more annoyed. I think its just that they dont understand. They say things like 'not long now' or 'you're looking great' or anything really....
Yeah, i look great in clothes but thats not the purpose of this. They have no idea what i need to look like or what i actually do look like. I think the perception out there is still that i am just trying to be skinny.
Or I get, 'you poor thing' 'what? you cant eat that?'
You know, no one put a gun to my head. This is my choice and I choose to do what is needed to get up there and be competitive. I am NOT a poor thing!!
Or others saying, can you eat salad? And trying to offer me alternatives.
'No, I cant. Everything is weighed and timed' I can only eat what I prepare and at certain times and in certain amounts.'
I go to mum's and she talks non stop about the restaurants people are going to, the food she is preparing, the food she wants to prepare and the food others are preparing etc etc.
Dont people have anything else too talk about?
Its not like i can relate to her at the moment.
Then she goes overboard in trying not to talk about food by making a big deal about 'slipping up' and talking about food.
Thats the kind of thing that drives me nuts. That and people trying to find ways of this not being hard. They just dont get it. It is hard and it is meant to be hard and thats why most people dont do it.
If it was easy, everyone would be walking around with shredded bodies full of energy and happiness. la la la
Do you readers get the message yet? lol I am agro!!
Oh well, not long now...... ;-)

5 weeks, 6 days :-)

Okay, getting closer. Today was a big challenge. Still have this throat infection, work was very busy, and 2 cardio, 1 weights session.
I felt like i was turning into the exorcist chick at the gym. Poor Gonz got most of it.
I have also dosed up on painkillers for most of the day and spend half of it spitting up yellow phlegm. yay.
Things are crazy in the Simmi household.
Well, this is my path and I am truly walking it alone from here. Gonz was left behind a long while ago, he is support where he can be but I am out on my own now.
I am really feeling that now. No one around me understands what I am going through. Thats okay. I do thrive on this kind of challenge. I am going to make it, I dont think it gets much harder than this.
Time for bed, then get up and do it again. I hope tomorrow is more managable with work. I still need to bring in the work (and money) but please tomorrow, dont be too crazy...

6.5 weeks and counting!

Okay, well besides getting another cold things are going well. Diet is booring but I have to say I am usually not hungry. My mind is starting to play tricks on me. telling me this doesnt really matter, I don't have to try so hard, its only a bb comp and i shouldnt let it take priority over life... things like that.
If i listen to that it can really undermine my efforts and I have coped my talking to Gonz about it and just generally talking about that.
Life would be easier (i think) if i didnt put so much effort into other things like my business, keeping up with friends and family etc. But I am NOT prepared to take things that far. My business needs to grow and it will be there after the comp.
I can honestly say that I feel a lot more sane this time round. I dont know why, perhaps my previous eating disorder DID have a massive impact on my head space and contributed to the cloudiness. It has really not been too bad this time.
I am gradually having a harder time getting a good night sleep due to my mind going over things and I anticipate that that will settle when i finish competing.
Training is hard but it is so nice having Gonz there to keep me going when my muscles are screaming and burning and i feel like dropping them and crying. ha ha I sound like a pussie.
So, today is legs then a massage then more cardio. Cardio is prob harder than weights as my legs get the shakes and i feel like i can keep going.. but i do. I have one ear phone in and have the tv going as the IQ box is recording all episodes of Star trek deep space nine and Voyager. That keeps me distracted for now.
Not long to go and its very exciting.

8 weeks to go!

Sunday today. I am feeling better. Had another bad one yesterday mainly work related. I really need a receptionist!! And I have started making this possible.
Last cheat meal also today and I am looking forward to getting together with Cath, Jared and the clan for home made gnocchi. It's been good to relax today and prepare for the next week. As of tomorrow I no longer have my oats for breakfast. :-(
Instead, it will be 80g chicken. mmmmm
I am thinking its time to switch to free range for better taste.
Cardio has been twice a day too. The felt on my spin bike wore down to the plastic and I was lucky to have Gonz around to replace it as I had no idea.
So, the bike is now all ready to go for the next 8-10 weeks.
Training will be supersets for the next 2 weeks. My weight is about 64.5kg. I am happy with my progress and not stressing too much about getting in shape in time. I know it will happen.
And I trust Donny's advice.

8.5 weeks out

3rd July and time is going by quickly. Started cardio twice a day now. Feeling my strength reducing too. My head has also started playing tricks on me and i did have a mini melt down friday and saturday. I put it down to doing too much. Gonz and I have spoken about it and I feel better now.
Sunday was spent on the couch and i didnt even get out of my pajamas all day. that is very unusual for me. Had a great sleep and woke 5:30am to get back on the bike.
Weight is down around 66kg.
The next 8 weeks are going to go so fast and it is getting exciting.
I have decided i need some help around work etc. and Gonz has started taking over some of the jobs i would have normally done.
This allows me some time to just lie down or sit and do nothing (which i feel like a slack arse for doing). It really does help. I have also been stressing about working alot and fitting everybody in but I just have to say no for my own sanity.
We have a few things on this weekend which i feel a little anxious about but after this weekend, I wont be doing much at all.
I have started forgetting things and have made a few stuff ups like booking a whole client list in for last saturday in sunshine when no one was going to be there. No good.
I now am looking for a receptionist to do a few hours a day, will ask mum first.
Training going well otherwise and loving seeing the changes in the gym mainly with more vascularity coming out. I am waiting for my stomach to show veins as it means that gut is nearly gone. Woo hoo.

11.5 weeks to go

Thought I should write something as I have been slack. As this will be my last comp I want to keep good notes to reminisce when i am old and fat. :-)
My weight has really started moving in the last few weeks. Today I was 66.9kg which is more than my target for the week.
Life is so busy right now but I am doing alright. Diet has been great (just a bit boring) but I am enjoying it as much as I can. My body is staying relatively injury free helped by a weekly massage and needling treatment. My head is good, I couldnt ask for more.
I estimate about another 7-8kg to lose and I hope I can make that all fat and nothing else.
Cardio is still low intensity 45 minutes 5 days a week. I am still training hard and am staying strong. Even increasing sometimes in weight which I couldnt do during my previous comp preps. I have some days where I feel hunger but for the most part i am not hungry. I am trying to drink 2-3 big cups of green tea and some days forget to have a coffee cause I am trying to get so much tea in.
Winter has been cold but I have the spin bike at home and put it in front of the tv so i can watch taped episodes of Star Trek Deep Space Nine and Voyager.
I was a bit lost after I finished the last season of Next Generation but have finally almost moved on..
Anyway, I will try to post once a week from now on.

17th May 2010-Day 1

Day one of 140 days (as my partner Gonz has told me). I am feeling the effects of the change of diet almost immediately. I wonder if it is all in my mind?
I think by the end of this week or next week I will have adjusted to the food and it won't affect me like today. It is also my birthday and so I chose to have today off. Why not?
I have also taken a good look at my training intensity and was more strict with resting time. As a result, I was exhausted after my workout. Good. I hope to see the benefits soon.
Gonz has decided to diet with me. I do not advise this and have asked for a diet plan to be written up for him. No sense us both being crazy.
I havent weighed myself yet but will do so tomorrow morning.

The next and last comp year

This will be my last year competing for awhile, probably forever. I want to start a family but have this one goal to complete.
Thank you to my family, Gonz, and Donny Henderson Smith and Hayley too.
You guys are the support I need to reach this goal in the best condition of my life.
Last year was a great year for healing my body and mind and I am now ready to achieve this goal as well as any others I decide to go for after this.
January 1st 2010 was the start of a strict training regime. Three weeks ago I really cleaned up an already pretty clean diet. I am feeling good, strong and motivated.
May 16th will most likely be the start date for competition prep phase. Then 20 weeks of dieting.
I will be competing Oct 3rd and hopefully the weekend of 17th October in Sydney. I am thinking about doing the NABBA show in the middle of them (10th Oct) just cause its there and I will only be in this condition once more.
I have 2 injuries that I am managing with regular Physio and massage and some osteopathy and the regular appointments are making such a difference. These guys are also an essential part of my support network as I know my body would probably break down if I didnt have these treatments weekly.
So I will be working around a dodgy hip and right shoulder bursitis but I am feeling that this is not going to hold me back.
Okay, more to follow..