Okay, well besides getting another cold things are going well. Diet is booring but I have to say I am usually not hungry. My mind is starting to play tricks on me. telling me this doesnt really matter, I don't have to try so hard, its only a bb comp and i shouldnt let it take priority over life... things like that.
If i listen to that it can really undermine my efforts and I have coped my talking to Gonz about it and just generally talking about that.
Life would be easier (i think) if i didnt put so much effort into other things like my business, keeping up with friends and family etc. But I am NOT prepared to take things that far. My business needs to grow and it will be there after the comp.
I can honestly say that I feel a lot more sane this time round. I dont know why, perhaps my previous eating disorder DID have a massive impact on my head space and contributed to the cloudiness. It has really not been too bad this time.
I am gradually having a harder time getting a good night sleep due to my mind going over things and I anticipate that that will settle when i finish competing.
Training is hard but it is so nice having Gonz there to keep me going when my muscles are screaming and burning and i feel like dropping them and crying. ha ha I sound like a pussie.
So, today is legs then a massage then more cardio. Cardio is prob harder than weights as my legs get the shakes and i feel like i can keep going.. but i do. I have one ear phone in and have the tv going as the IQ box is recording all episodes of Star trek deep space nine and Voyager. That keeps me distracted for now.
Not long to go and its very exciting.
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