5 DAYS OUT

Well, almost here!!
day 2 of carb depletion going as well as can be expected. I am still working although not alot. It is very hard to stay focussed. I have enjoying rambling around the streets doing a little shopping although trying to be careful with the finances. I have kept myself amused with new purchases of a digital camera, digital home phone and answering machine, and I just bought a house!
I went out the other day on a chocolate mission for comp day. I have a nice stash in the cupboard waiting for saturday. yay. Rocklea road and lindt chokky. mmmmn.
I did some practice yesterday with my bikini on and I am happy with my progress. I would still like to be leaner but everyone has something they would like to improve on. Overall I have made good improvements and am happy.
The weight circuits weren't as bad as I anticipated. I have my last one tomorrow which is a full body circuit for about 30 mins. I think it is heaps easier than doing 8 x 8 x 8 sets and thats the only reason i find it easier. Also going from one body part to another gives each body part a bit of a rest which also helps alot.
But other than that, there isn't a lot I can do at this point besides hold tight and stick to my diet until the day. Getting exciting now. I can't wait to see everyone else and how they look and come up as well. There should be some pretty impressive physiques there.

13 days out

Today is Sunday and right now I am feeling pretty weak and flat. I have moments where I think i feel okay and then i hit a wall and feel like i am going to collapse. Training is real hard and I lose the little bit of energy I manage to muster very quickly. I am getting quite lean but feel really small up top. My legs still look pretty good. Had a small party at my place last night where I cooked 2 dishes to share and people brought a plate and drinks. I had help to cook the mini cottage pies and vegetable pie and they turned out really well. I didn't eat one single morsal either. It smelled great and was nice to cook something other than chicken, brocolli, roo, egg whites. I am so close now that I know I don't have long to wait until I can enjoy a nice meal myself.
Life in general is otherwise going well and I feel quite relaxed about it. My business is up and growing steadily, relationships and friendships going well and I am seriously looking at property (which I feel surprisingly calm about even though it has been the one thing i have aimed for but also been scared shitless about).
I just want to feel normal again and I want this cloud to clear out of my head. I do have moments where everything is clear but they don't last long.
Routine is sorted and I am going over it again and again. Posing could still improve. Cardio is a real struggle but I am getting through it. Just day by day. I hope the October comps aren't this hard to prep for. I hope the hard work i do now will make that 8 weeks all the more easier. I guess it all depends on how much I eat after the bendigio show. thats going to be hard cause I have so many things I want to eat.
oh well.